


Coping

by Okami01



Series: Ashelix 2020 Week [4]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Ashelix Week (Fire Emblem), Fire Emblem: Three Houses Blue Lions Route Spoilers, Gen or Pre-Slash, Hurt/Comfort, Lack of Communication, M/M, Pre-War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:00:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27128927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Okami01/pseuds/Okami01
Summary: After the Mission with the Western Church, Ashe is sad and rightfully so. Felix wishes he knew how to help him.Day 4 of Ashelix Week - Ghosts
Relationships: Ashe Duran | Ashe Ubert/Felix Hugo Fraldarius
Series: Ashelix 2020 Week [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1975840
Kudos: 10
Collections: Ashelix Week 2020





	Coping

It would be nice, if Felix was in a separate house than Ashe. If the archbishop hadn't thoughtlessly assigned the professor a mission to subdue the people of the Western Church. Lonato. Ashes adoptive father. Maybe it wasn't an action without thought. Loyalty to the church was blind devotion and sacrifice. Whether it be your life, or the people that you loved. 

Life wasn't nice or kind.

Even though Ashe was. Even after the tragedy, he didn't break down, curse the church or cry. 

They'd thought that they could talk some sense into Lonato. As if you could talk sense into anyone from Faerghus. 

Ashe's brother and father were gone. Maybe they weren't related by blood, but they were his family. 

And they'd been murdered.

Maybe Lonato hadn't had to raise an army in the name of the Western Church as he did. Maybe it was his own decisions that resulted in his death. Felix didn't know why Lonato would make a decision that would potentially separate himself from Ashe. That would cost him his life. 

It was painful..Felix wasn't immune to emotion, as much as he wanted to be. But a part of him wondered if he was angry not just on Ashe's behalf, but also because of emotions he'd tried to bury before. 

What was it with society and getting your family killed? Leaving you behind to pick up the pieces. Or shatter them further. Sometimes.bleeding was less painful than other things. 

Painful to Felix and it wasn't even his family. Ashe was only his classmate. 

If Ashe wasn't going to be bothered by it, then Felix had no reason to be. 

But Ashe was still smiling, talking about knighthood. 

Felix decided to avoid him. There wasn't a way for him to make the situation better. He'd asked the professor to do something and their approach had been tea parties. 

He knew.that he couldn't help Ashe. When it came to loss, Felix could hardly help himself. He knew he'd say something hurtful. 

But they were friends, though that's what Ashe said to almost everyone. 

But you weren't supposed to let your life get ruined by the dead. And that's what Ashe was doing, wasn't it?

It bothered Felix anyway. 

___

Whenever you lost someone, people offered their condolences. Usually hollow words from people you barely knew. Or stilted phrasing from those worried that you'll break. 

Felix couldn't offer that. He wouldn't. He couldn't even offer his blade to Ashe, in the throat of those wronged Ashe.   
Because those people were in the church. And maybe it hadn't been their fault. Maybe it had. The fact was that Lonato was still dead. 

" Aren't you angry," Felix wanted to ask. " Don't you think it's wrong?"  
Felix didn't necessarily have or care about social cues, but he knew that would only make things worse.

Not that it particularly mattered, when he'd lost Glenn he was angry and no one asked. You were either mad or you won't. But in his case talking would only make things worse. 

People brought flowers. Flowers die. Felix doesn't know why bringing flowers to someone who is sad because a loved one is dead is ever a good solution. 

He thinks about buying Ashe a book but that isn't something he would normally do. He thinks about just Sneaking it into his room. That would be creepy. 

In the end, Felix decides not to do any of this. Because Ashe is fine and no amount of books or meat or flowers is going to make your grief go away.

___  
Felix watches Ashe in battle. Try as he might to avoid Ashe, he can't very well do that on the battlefield. 

They fight bandits and rogues, a couple of giant wolves. Ashe doesn't seem distracted. The usual brushes with death occur, but not any more frequently than before.

The battlefield, dining hall, in the sauna. He swears he sees Ashe frown. 

He's on the training grounds, just practicing basic sword swings. 

Ashe comes in. In a fight, sometimes you need to make split decisions. Like, stay or leave before things get awkward. 

Unfortunately, this isn't a fight. And Ashe is smiling and waving at him. A couple weeks of sort of being holed up in his room and now this.

Felix doesn't smile back, because when has he ever done that. And he thinks that there are a lot of things he doesn't do, that doesn't mean he doesn't have to not do them. 

But whatever comforting platitudes don't make it out of his mind. 

Instead, Felix takes the training sword and turns it around in his hand. " Do you want to spar?"  
For some reason, he adds, " we haven't in a while." As if that means anything. 

Ashe looks sort of happy. Felix understands. He loves to spar. But somehow he doesn't think that's the reason.

" Oh, sorry," Ashe stops smiling. 

Felix's heart does a weird thing. 

" I just… ah thought you were avoiding me."

I was, Felix almost says. That won't make the situation any better. He knows that much. Ashe sort of looks like a sad puppy when he's depressed. And this close, even holding a sword and pretending it doesn't bother Felix, it does. 

" No, but… I'm not."

After Glenn died, Felix didn't want to hold a sword. He'd cried all the time. His eyes were almost always red. And then he realized how important it was to hold one, to keep training no matter what. Strength was important and he was still chasing after it, trying to contain it.

He felt the emotion well up inside his chest. Thankfully his eyes didn't water. He'd grown better at not crying. Though Ashe wouldn't mind or be one to judge probably. 

No emotional platitudes or useless questions. Ashe may very well be ok. Maybe he's not. But he's here and smiling at Felix, trying to get past his sorrow as best he can. Felix can only commend him for that. 

" Just… you're back out here so…. We should spar if you want."

Ashe nods and lifts his weapon. " I'd like that."

Felix is glad. 

Maybe one day, he'll be able to find the right words. To talk to Ashe about it. Instead, their swords clash, and Felix is grateful for the sound. For Ashe's smile. He should stop avoiding it.

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Ashelix Week! Thanks for reading. Sometimes I feel like it was a missed opportunity that Felix and Ashe never got to talk about their family situations.
> 
> @Tavitay on Twitter!


End file.
